An Unspoken Eulogy

On the morning of January 20^th I lost my Grandmother. I had been dreading this day for the longest time but I am at peace because she is no longer in pain and can finally rest. I was lucky enough to have a remarkable relationship with my Grandma; she was one of my best friends and someone I could talk to forever. As a child I remember always wanting to be around her and my Grandpa, I loved their stories, the food they cooked, helping them around the house, watching a good martial arts movie and the afternoon hour of Phil Donahue. I blame them for my old soul. When school wasn’t in session I always looked forward to going into “town”, my Grandma always referred to L.A as town when they would make their weekly trips to pick-up inventory for their business. For many that did not know my Grandparents they sold antique gumball machines and candy at the Orange County Swap Meet for 35 years. When we would make our trips into town Grandma and I would typically stop at Burger King off of Magnolia on the 15 freeway to get me a croissant breakfast sandwich and made our way into the city listening to KNX 1070 so I could catch the ten minute broadcast of the Two Hot Tamales as they gave their recipe of the day. Grandma and I would talk about everything on these rides; life, death, what KISS FM was playing and what we would do on our way home after we visited Javier and Garvey Nut and Candy. I remember one conversation vividly where we were listening to 104.3 and “Wind Beneath my Wings” came on the radio. We listened to the song and once the new song started to play she turned to me and told me to make sure that Bette Midler’s song made it to her funeral. I never listened to that song the same once she said those words and I would tell her that she is still young and that I never wanted to think about that day because life without her seemed impossible. Since my Grandparents had their own business I spent a lot of my weekends out at the swap meet working for them. If I put in a good day’s work Grandpa would pay me my $2 but when he wasn’t looking Grandma would slip me a $20 and always told me not to say anything, but I am sure Grandpa knew what she was doing all along. To them I owe my work ethic and my money counting skills, because as Grandpa would say, “if you can’t count money back correctly you can’t work for us”. I know he would have let me work for them even if I couldn’t count because I was the apple of their eye as they were mine.

That was my childhood, perfect and filled with love. As I got older I would continue to spend time with them. We would go out for Chinese or they would come visit me at TGI Friday’s. I always found time for them. When my Grandma moved into my parents house in 2005 after my Grandpa had his stroke and was “taken” away by his children a piece of her died. She yearned for him and in my opinion she was never the same once they were separated. There were happy moments like the summer she took my sister and I to Oahu for a week’s vacation on the shore of Waikiki. It was one of the best vacations I had ever been on. Or, the time we took her to Santa Barbara for her 83rd birthday, when she received her meal she gasped and stated, “that’s a good looking piece of meat”. We all died at the table laughing, it was just one of those moments where we were all on the same page, that dinner was simply amazing. She was amazing. For our wedding she gave Jim and I trip of a lifetime and sent us to Jamaica. Because her and Grandpa had been there a few times we were able to live through them as we traveled there, understanding parts of stories they had told us in our early years of dating. The thing about my Grandma that made her the most sincere person was that she never got mad at us, if she did; I have erased it from my memory. She wanted the best for her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. You could never tell her no, because she would find some way of slipping money in your pocket or just doing it anyway. I find the same quality in my Mother, maybe it’s a maternal trait or something that has been passed down throughout the generations, I am not sure but I do know that I hope I can be just like them with my own daughter.

Elnor Jean Turk will be greatly missed by many. Makayla misses her Mimi and will remember her by eating chocolates while reading the Nutcracker. Ethan will probably remember one of the songs that she sang to him as a baby. For my sweet nieces and nephew they only had a few short years. I am fortunate to have had twenty-seven years of incredibly sweet memories that will never be forgotten. She will never be forgotten because no matter where I am in the world she will be with me everywhere I go.

Grandma, may you finally be at peace. I hope you spend your days catching up with loved ones and continue to watch over your family until we meet again.

With all my love forever,

Missy

Oahu 2006

Santa Barbara 2008

With Rosemarie at our wedding in 2007

At my Mother’s High School Graduation (great-grandma, mom and grandma)

Family Photo Shoot 2008

One of my favorite childhood pictures.