My PB + J

when all you got to keep is strong

Move along. That’s what my personal mantra has been since the Summer of 2010, even though the All-American Rejects had been singing that chorus into my head since 2005, I didn’t know the meaning until I hit rock bottom. The year of 2010 was the hardest year I have yet to experience in my thirty years. I had to do a lot of soul searching; I cried a lot, I held a lot in, I had a fucked up delivery of my daughter, I felt bullied by new moms, I lost friends, I lost my Grandma, lost my career, I truly lost me. If you’ve been reading this blog ‘o mine long enough you know that I have been very open about my battles with depression. I truly believe that until you are faced with depression or are close to someone who is struggling you cannot comprehend what one is really going through. I struggle often and have recently started to feel the way I did three years ago. The moment I started feeling the heavy breathing and tunnel closing in on me I called my sister and then sent a lengthy e-mail to my best friend.  Three years ago I couldn’t do that. I would get pissed, close myself off and deal with it privately. The anxiety reemerging was scary, I played more games with myself than anything. Questioning why I would let myself get to this point after my soul searching and personal defeat of this debilitating disease. I am way stronger than this crap.

Last night while at work I had a deep conversation with one of the only employees left that I hired. It was nice, a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and respect regained. I could talk about my struggles in 2010, I could laugh about it, hell, I even teared up, body shaking in fear. Talking about your faults, your mistakes is a terrifying son of a bitch but it’s healthy to move along.

I tend to let myself get too attached to people. Why, I do not know. I thought I had learned my lesson in 2010 but after you guard yourself for so long and someone nice comes around you seem to open right back up. I thought I would live a guarded life, I mistook myself and will now live guarded. I think when enough shit has happened to you, you only start to trust the ones that know what you’re experiencing. I am so happy that I have the support I need, some new, some old, but they get me. They get my quirks, my looks, my bitchy yet sarcastic comments that should only be taken as silly not figuratively.

Last night was eye opening. I have kept strong, I have moved on and now it’s time to keep the hope alive.

Thanks All-American Rejects for composing a song that I have lived by since my early twenties, I just didn’t get it until now. Funny how life is.

a class for a cause

Are you a local San Diegan looking for cause to give to this weekend? I urge you to attend The Dailey Method – RB/Poway “Chelsea’s Light” fundraiser this Sunday. If you remember from last year, “Finish Chelsea’s Run” was my first 5k. It is a cause dear to my heart, I hope you can join and if you can’t, a donation is much appreciated.

logo header
 

  

 
Finish Chelsea’s 5K Run/Walk
 
What:   Join The Dailey Method RB-Poway in walking the 3rd annual “Finish Chelsea’s Run” event in honor of Chelsea King. The event will feature a competitive 5K race and fun run/walk, family festival, children’s activities, team competition, entertainment and refreshments. To show our support, The Dailey Method RB-Poway is putting together a team and we would love to have all of you join             us! To join our team, please click here. Password to join is “TDMRBP”.

 

When:   Saturday, March 2nd 7:30am
 
Who:     Yourself, kids, spouses! Anyone can join – the more the merrier!
 
Where:  Balboa Park

Chelsea Run 

baked dark chocolate heart donuts {recipe}

My little girl is a lover of donuts, but honestly, who doesn’t love a perfectly crisp donut covered in gooey icing with sprinkles dropping off everywhere? This Valentines Day I decided to surprise her with her favorite variety and let her help with the baking. The process so simple, relatively fast and the reward exceptional. I purchased a heart shaped donut pan and went on the search for the most perfect chocolaty donut ever.  The icing was a simple concoction of melted butter, powdered sugar, milk and vanilla. It’s best to dip them while warm so you get a more glazed look or dip cold for a thicker coat and a double dip for that icing lover. Enjoy with a tall glass of ice cold milk with heart paper straws. A great way to impress a loved one on Valentines Day morning or any day of the year! 

Baked Dark Chocolate Sour Cream Donuts-

Ingredients:
Makes 24 heart shaped donuts

1 3/4 C. All-Purpose Flour
1/4 C. Unsweetened Dark Chocolate Cocoa Powder
1 tsp Baking Soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 C. Vegetable Oil
3/4 C. Sour Cream
2 eggs
2/3 C. Sugar

For the icing:
2 cups Powdered Sugar
1 1/2 tsp. Vanilla
2 TB Milk (or more depending on your desired consistency)
2 TB Melted Butter

Directions:

– In the bowl of a stand mixer combine: eggs, sour cream, vanilla, oil and sugar. Beat until well incorporated. In a separate bowl combine all the dry ingredients. Slowly add the dry into the wet until combined. With a pastry bag or Ziploc bag add the batter and cut a large enough opening so the batter comes out with ease. Spray your pan with Pam and fill halfway. Bake at 425º for 10 minutes.
– You will achieve a crispier donut if you release the first round immediately and then spray the hot pan again and add batter and return to oven warm.
– Dip the donut into icing. Place on a wire rack with a cookie sheet underneath to drip. Add sprinkles right away.

Crispy Restaurant Style Fish Tacos #FishnVeggies #CBias

It’s no secret that I love sharing my restaurant re-creations. Most of the time my copycat recipes take a little longer to prepare but with me returning back to work and the hubby traveling I have been looking for meals that the hubs can easily put together if I am gone and vice versa. It can become very mundane and even stressful on some nights to prepare a complete meal from scratch. Insert my idea on recreating our favorite restaurant fish tacos. I already had a few essential ingredients like tangy sharp cheddar, crunchy green cabbage, creamy avocados from our tree and tomatillo salsa, the rest I needed to pick-up from Wal-Mart during my weekly shopping trip.

To see my full shopping trip please visit my Google+ album.

While at Wal-Mart I picked up some Van de Kamp’s breaded fish sticks, Birds Eye vegetables and rice, corn tortillas and beer (of course! you cannot have fish tacos without a cold beer). Today I did a trial run on the recipe to show the hubby how to prepare when I am away working.

Payton loves fish, like totally loves it. Makes me happy because a lot of kids don’t. A staple for when mommy is away is serving the kids fish sticks and fresh veggies. It’s easy for everyone and it’s always a hit. I feel better when I am away knowing my family is eating a well balanced meal. I have to be honest that I haven’t purchased Van de Kamps fish sticks for a few years, I usually purchase a different brand and after baking these today I will never look back. The fish baked in under twenty-three minutes and it was perfectly crispy and did not stick to the pan. The biggest plus in my book is that the fish was actually a filet like stated on the packaging, unlike some packages that advertise a whole filet and then you end up with slimy minced fish. These fish sticks were fine all on their own and after I ate a few straight off the pan I knew I better get to assembling the tacos before I had to bake more!

While the fish sticks were baking I prepped soft corn tortillas and the cheddar cheese. I wanted the tortillas to be warm and soft so they went into the oven after the fish sticks came out for two minutes. I did the following to create my fish tacos:

I also wanted to serve mexican rice with the tacos so when I picked up the frozen vegetables I also saw that Birds Eye offers a frozen rice with mixed veggie blend. I knew this would be perfect to make a quick mexican rice. 

I steamed the rice according to the package directions. I then placed the rice into a bowl and added two tablespoons of tomato sauce, 1/2 teaspoon of chili powder and cumin. I gave one lime wedge a squeeze and a crack of sea salt. Voila! Easy mexican rice in under ten minutes.

The kids verdict? Even the non-fish lover Brayden enjoyed the fish sticks. I served the kids the fish sticks, avocado, mexican rice and Birds Eye edamame. 
I cannot confess anymore how amazing this meal was. After a hectic day it brought us all together at the dinner table, and the best thing is when I am at work I know that the hubby can easily recreate this meal for he and the kids. 
Want to try this recipe out for yourself? Take advantage of the $1 off coupon on Mrs Pauls and Van de Kamps

Enter the Neely’s Sweepstakes on mrspauls.com and vandekamps.com – One lucky grand prize winner gets a trip for two to NYC and dinner with the Neelys. Check back for daily chances to win signed cookbooks from the Neelys.




Disclaimer: I am a member of the Collective Bias®  Social Fabric® Community.  This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias®  and Pinnacle Foods Group #cbias #SocialFabric #FishnVeggies

OctoPops {tutorial}

A few weeks ago I was contacted to create octopus cake pops for an under the sea birthday party. Well, the rain delayed the party and I created these über sweet octupus brownie pops late Friday night. Cake pops and I have a love hate relationship. I finally have it down what works for me, brownies! Their dense enough and remain moist once coated. Aren’t they the cutest? 
Here’s what you’ll need:
1 box brownie mix (avoid any variety with chocolate chips) bake according to the cake-like directions. Under cook slightly. Let cool and then crumble. Slightly squish the crumbs together into a ball releasing oils and roll until even. 
2 bags of melting chocolate, I used purple and blue 
36 candy eyes 
black edible marker 
18 sticks
pastry bags
parchment paper 

Once you have the brownie balls rolled out melt a small amount of chocolate in the microwave at 30 second intervals. Dip one stick at a time into melted chocolate and gently place half way into brownie. Repeat until done. Let these sit for about 10-15 minutes to ensure chocolate has completely hardened.

While your waiting on the chocolate to harden draw circles and tentacles onto paper.

Place parchment paper over the paper and tape the corners down.

Melt 1 cup of chocolate and place melted chocolate into pastry bag. Cut a small hole at the end of the bag. Start piping a tentacle first and outlining the circle as you go into each tentacle. Once you have piped all the chocolate, dip the brownie balls into chocolate and place immediately onto piped chocolate. Let the chocolate harden for a few minutes before placing eyes onto the face. If the chocolate becomes too hard take a small amount of chocolate onto a stick and dab a bit onto the back of the eye and attach. Once the chocolate has hardened all the way draw a mouth on.

Now you have these cute under the sea creatures to add to your party!